November 24, 2019
Yesterday, I spent my Saturday doing all the Responsible Adult things. Laundry. Housework (a bit more deep cleaning than usual with Thanksgiving looming next week). Groceries. Paying Bills. ALL THE THINGS!
By the end of the day, I told myself that I would spend Sunday doing Creative Things. My mind flew in all sort of directions about all the THINGS I would get done. I went to bed feeling hopeful and excited.
And then the day came.
I stared blankly at my List Of Things To Do and felt my guts tighten.
I started it with some baking. Blueberry bread. Hey, it’s still creating.
I fiddled with my printer which for some reason no longer wants to do its ONE DAMN JOB.
After giving up, I pushed the traitorous printer aside and sat down at my desk.
After taking a deep breath, I decided to do something easy. Let’s get those wheels turning by doing some journaling. It’s spreading ink on the page. That counts, right?
I love journaling. It’s a way to talk out problems and finding answers. Sometimes, it is like your subconscious can find a way to talk back to you. There is something magical about it.
I started writing about my latest battle with Imposter Syndrome. How I haven’t written anything since October 1. And the panic I’m feeling because in a week, I’m supposed to talk to a writers’ group about my adventures of being a writer. HA! Who am I to tell anyone about BEING a writer?
And that’s when my subconscious chimed up, “Ah, there’s the problem, isn’t it, Love? That adverb. BEING. That’s a passive a To Be verb. And WRITER? That’s a noun. Nouns are active so snip that down to WRITE. Not Writer; nouns aren’t active. They just sit there. You need to clip that and just use the active verb. WRITE. Just write something. Anything. Don’t worry about it being good or if anyone will like it. Just grab that Silver Flame and mold it into something NEW. ACTIVE. Get moving.”
And that’s what I did.
Here it is.
I don’t know if any of this is good or is just another post about me whining, but I did it. At least it is a start.