I barged into my daughter’s room today and said, “Jesus! I can’t believe how much this month sucks!”
“What month?” she said. “It’s only been ten days.”
Which did nothing for my mood.
I don’t know what is it about April. Something about this time of the year always makes me a little…crazy.
I don’t know if it’s the tree spooge pollen getting up inside my brain meats. Or maybe it’s the changing of the season with all the rain and sun and rain and sun and rain and sun. But it’s the same thing. Every year around about this time I find myself getting a little…weird. Like, unfocused weird….I can’t think or stay on topic for more than a few minutes before my monkey brain has jumped to another branch.
Which means NOTHING GETS DONE!
I haven’t written a single word on my Crown of Feather project. I’ve been buying time by trying to find the perfect journal and the perfect pen and…oh, my yes! More and more research materials to help feather the nest.
But we all know that’s procrastinating bullshit.
And the script for my new podcast idea, They Done Her Wrong? I got about three pages into that and……yeah.
I’ve often said that writing is like jabbing yourself with a needle, over and over, each time the tip getting a little duller, as you try to find the right vein that will shoot you up and over into La-La Land where words burst out of your fingertips like bolts of golden lightning. It’s magic when that happens. The Story takes over and everything is fucking AWESOME.
But, until you find it, all you’ve got to show for yourself is an arm full of holes.
And a brain that is getting duller and duller with each passing day.
I’m not alone in this. Many of my creative friends have been experiencing this since the Great Shut Down of 2020. I, as usual, the eternal late bloomer, have just now arrived to the pity party.
But that’s ok! It’s all ok! I can do this. I’ve wrestled with Aprils before and I’ll bust through this one.
I’ll see y’all on the other side.
Nikki Nelson-Hicks 