A Family Meeting

The other day, I said to my daughter, “By the way, if  you are ever in a mall and a police officer comes up to you and says your car has been hit and you need to go with him to the police station to fill out a report, DON’T DO IT! If you do, you’ll end up DEAD! Your skull being fucked in the woods!”

My daughter just sighed, “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And if anyone asks you for help, like, say, “Hey, excuse me. Can you help me put my groceries in the back of my VW bug or, hey, can you help me with my whatever, DON’T DO IT! NEVER HELP ANYONE or you’ll get KILLED!”

“Okay….I was just looking for the cat carrier,” she said.

“That’s in the garage. But I’m serious, NEVER HELP ANYONE or you’ll get SKULLFUCKED!”

“Ooookay.”

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts about Ted Bundy and the one thing I learned is to NEVER HELP ANYONE! Or you’ll end up being chained to a tree, beat to death with a log and then your eye holes of your skull fucked by some psychopath in a turtleneck.

Seriously. Jesus. What a douchebag that guy was.

 

bundy
Skullfucker extraordinaire

 

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